Today I got spammed again by Frito-Lay – this is the SECOND time Frito-Lay has spammed me in my capacity as an educator and they should be ashamed at themselves.

Today I got the following in my email:

So where is the legally required opt out link?  Not only that – this is the second time Frito-Lay has spammed me in the past 6 months!

Assholes!

If you are wondering who Anindita Mukherjee is? She is the VP of Marketing and its her responsibility to keep her marketing people in compliance!

Losers every one!

OK let’s look at this carefully.

1) This is not an unscubscribe page – it in reality is a subscription modification page.
2) It is nice that is lets me change my email or even see samples BUT
3) If I want to opt-out I have to click every single checkbox

OK so you think I’m splitting hairs here but if they cared they should let me out quickly!

So I did it – I unchecked every checkbox and hit submit button and was told this:

Your request will be processed as soon as possible.
Visit our product lineups at the link below:
http://www.usa.canon.com/consumer/controller?act=ConsumerHomePageAct

and with it my favorite line:

Duplication in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.

Just to put that bullshit aside for a moment this seemed like a fairly similar situation:
1) They sent me a link
2) I unchecked the boxes 3
) They removed me from the list

But today I got another email from them!

Now – I know what you are thinking – they did say that they would get to it as soon as possible.
But here is the kicker – when I went to unsubscribe again – all the boxes where unchecked already!

They KNOW! The subscription database KNOWS that I have opted out and yet they sent me another email anyways!

So Canon – what they hell is wrong with you?
Is your system run by two separate databases that only get merged when you feel like it?
Do you continue to purposely sent out emails to people who opt-out after you KNOW they have opted out under the illusion that this takes time?
How long will I continue to get emails fro you even after I have opted out?

With that I say – Cannon – you are assholes!

However I realized that they have several of my emails so I would go and delete one of them.

So I clicked on the Unsubscribe/Modify link in the email.

It takes me to a site that has my email address and zip code filled in and asks me to type in my email again for verification.

Why? I mean – you people already filled in the form. Clearly I got here from my own email.  So great – assholes making it hard for me to unsubscribe.

So I cut and paste the email and hit next.

Then I get a POP UP ALERT saying: To update your subscriptions you must provide your email address.

Hey assholes – I already did!

But I do it – I type it in again – two more times.

Now I am at a list of 10 newsletters with a checkbox next to one marked Subscribe.

So I check Unsubscibe and I get another POP UP ALERT that says:

“Can’t select both options – select either one”

Are you kidding me?  So I have to uncheck Subscribe and THEN check Unsunscribe?

It has to be on purpose because how can they be  smart enough to write a script but now know what a RADIO BUTTON is?

SO I carefully uncheck Subscribe and then check all do the Unsubscribe buttons when I get to this:

Please note: If you are unsubscribing from postal offers, enter the name and address information as it appears on the most recent advertisement you received.

That’s right- to opt out of their mailings you have to type in exactly what they send you.

Microcenter – you are grade A marketing assholes!

What should I have expected – their terms of service includes:

MICRO ELECTRONICS, INC. MAKES NO WARRANTY THAT:

1. THIS SITE WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS;
2. THIS SITE AND YOUR EXPERIENCE COMMUNICATING WITH THIS SITE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, TIMELY, SECURE, OR FREE OF VIRUSES, ERRORS OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS; OR
3. ANY ERRORS ON THIS SITE WILL BE CORRECTED.

I got an email newsletter today from Entireweb.com.  I have no idea how I got on their list new list and there of course was NO opt-out.

So I went through my emails and yes – it turns out they email me all the time.

So I went to their website and YES I do have an account with them.

But when I went to look around there was no way to delete or cancel the account.  I had to email their ‘feedback form’ which wasn’t smart enough to know who I was even though I was already logged in.

It turns out that a few years ago I signed up so I could look at what they had to offer (I never paid them anything) and that apparently allows them to email me without any clear way of stopping them.

Nice

Assholes (me included for registering there in the first place)

ING is a real company.  The email was from them: saver@ingdirect.com

So I click on the opt-put link and scroll down to the unsubscribe button and when I click it the next page says:

You’ve just told us you don’t want to receive email offers or information about the topics we’ve listed here:

• Orange Home Loans

In 5 business days, your choice will go in effect.

—

What the hell!  5 business days!  So their system takes 5 days to mark an item in a database as DO NOT EMAIL?

And better yet – their computers not only take 5 days but appear not to work on the weekends! Wow these are some very special computers.

Then I went back and realized that I hadn’t read the previous page carefully.  So I went back and read:

If you want to remove yourself from all electronic promotional communications, click on all the boxes below before clicking “Unsubscribe.”

So the opt-out link is really some sort of a hoop jumping thing – ie it is a LIE.  What they really linked me to was a subscription modification page.

So yes ING you are an asshole for sending me a crappy email then linking me to a deceptive website and then telling me I have to wait 5 more days.

Legal? I’m sure.  Moral? Well hey folks it is a bank!

“Is Rita there?”

“Um, what number did you dial?”

“Oh, I must have a wrong number.”

“Wait, what number did you dial?”

“Well, is Rita there or not?”

“No, listen there is no Rita here but I need to know if you dialed wrong if you have the wrong number?”

“Should I call back later when Rita is in?”

So at this point I get the manager on the phone.

He wants to know what I am upset about.

I said “What number did you dial?”

“Well your number obviously, since I am talking to you.”

“But what number is it?”

He read me my number, then says:

“Is Rita there? I have to let you know this phone call is being recorded!”

“There is no Rita here!”

“Well then why are you getting upset we dialed the wrong number.”

“Because he said he would call back!”

At this point there was quite a bit a swearing and yelling (ME) and he got nasty and I assume now is SURE that Rita lives here.

Way to go assholes!

http://www.generalrevenue.com

Oh if this number calls – 513-605-7536 – don’t answer!

But earlier today I received this email from: doritos_crashthesuperbowl4@yahoo.com

Its a yahoo email!  Nice!

The email looks like a letter its got all of these inlined graphics and NO opt-out!

I went to the website (which is big and all Flash) and when I clicked on the privacy policy I found this: …you may cancel your registration and/or remove yourself from our emailing list, you may do so by following the “unsubscribe” contained in one of our communications to you…

Hey assholes! You forgot to include one!

It was hard to find any real information about who to contact but as Jaya Kumar is the Chief Marketing Officer, I blame him as well.

Also the included an attachment of a flyer for me to print and post – not a URL to a download one from – they actually sent me an unsolicited attachment! What complete morons!

The worst part of all of this is that if this email had included the opt-out and didn’t look like it was written by a marketing firm that was owned by teenagers I would be interested in a contest like this for myself or my students.  But you don’t get involved with companies who don’t play by the rules!

Again – major assholes!

Here is the email:

Dear …

GIVE YOUR STUDENTS A CHANCE TO BE
FEATURED ON ONE OF THE BIGGEST TV
ADVERTISING STAGES, THE SUPERBOWL.

It’s time for your class to Crash the Super Bowl. Doritos® is
giving your students a chance to write, produce and direct
their very own 30-second Doritos® commercial to be aired
during the big game. America will vote for their favorite
spots and the top 3 will be featured during Super Bowl XLIV.

But that’s not all. When the Doritos® commercials take
the top 3 spots on the USA TODAY ad meter, we’ve got
$5,000,000 for the winners.

We’ve attached a flyer to share with your students. Online,
they can also find tips and tricks from last years $1,000,000
winner, the Herbert brothers.

Be sure to have them visit crashthesuperbowl.com
and submit your video by 11/09/09.

Best of luck.

Michael Fox
Brand Manager, Doritos

So I got this email from a guy trying to self-promote a film called “The Darien Dilemma”. It seemed familiar and I went back through my email and found that he has emailed me eight times since last year and not one of them contains an opt out link!

Better yet it is an obnoxious email that claims they collected my name off of a website – which is supposed to make the SPAM ok?  He even admits that he keeps sending it over and over again!  I also love the anti-virus notice at the bottom of the email.

My only joy is that I in-lined the image from their site so I wouldn’t waste my bandwidth!

So for failure for an opt-out and repeated emails I have to say:
Nahum Laufer – You are an asshole and you just don’t seem to get it!

This one was so bad I am tempted to just report it!

Here is the email – oh and the crappy formatting is what it really looked like!

—

From: laufern@netvision.net.il
To: Webmaster

Dear Librarian

That’s right – two weeks after the first unsolicited no-opt out email from Kevin Their – I got a follow up and he also tried calling my office!

This time I called the company and left a message requesting that I no longer want to be emailed AND I emailed telling him that I no longer want to be emailed.

Think I should report him to the FTC instead?

Email as follows:

—

Per my voice message, I wanted to follow up with an email as well. Are you familiar with Access.NewspaperArchive.com? We have over 110 million historical newspaper images from around the world, not to mention over 5.8 million images from the state of Ohio alone – some of which date all the way back to 1815!

Please let me know if you would like to utilize a free two week trial to view our content for yourself and to determine if the resource would be a good fit for your institution and it’s students. My contact information is posted below, thanks for reading!

Kindly,
Kevin Thier

Kevin Thier

Product Manager ~ Access.NewspaperARCHIVE.com

Heritage Microfilm
NewspaperArchive.com
4049 21st Avenue SW,
Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404

Phone: 319.390.9442 +16 or 1.888.870.0484 +40

Email: kthier@newspaperarchive.com

Web: access.newspaperarchive.com

I got a call for papers in my email this week. It was long and poorly formatted and after scanning all the links in it – there was not a one that told me how to opt-out! Worse yet it ended with:

Powered by PHPlist, www.phplist.com

So I know they are using a list management system!

I emailed back asking:
Where is your legally required OPT-OUT link?

I got the following reply:
http://ntms-conf.org/phpemaillist/?p=unsubscribe
Regards

Here is the kicker – not only did I have to ask (ie beg) for an opt-out link but the website is in French! FRENCH!

When I finally did unsubscribe – they redirected me to a page – again in French – and then … sent me another email! And this one had information on how to resubscribe.

So the email I didn’t subscribe didn’t tell me how to unsubscribe and when I did unsubscribe they sent me email, that  I didn’t ask for, telling me how to resubscribe!

Assholes!!!

What really bothers me is that the organization is legit being sponsored by IFIP (International Federation for Information Processing) and IEEE (Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers).

Not cool guys!  You should be ashamed of yourselves!

The original emails are here (and yes the spacing was like this):

—

Goodbye from our Newsletter, sorry to see you go.

You have been unsubscribed from our newsletters.

This is the last email you will receive from us. We have added you to our
“blacklist”, which means that our newsletter system will refuse to send
you any other email, without manual intervention by our administrator.

If there is an error in this information, you can re-subscribe:
please go to http://ntms-conf.org/phpemaillist/?p=subscribe and follow
the steps.

Thank you

—

(Sincere apologies if you receive multiple copies of this CFP.)

Third International Conference on

New Technologies, Mobility and Security

Technically Sponsored by IEEE COMSOC and IFIP TC6 WG

December 20 – 23, 2009, Cairo – Egypt

http://www.ntms-conf.org

Overview

——–

NTMS‘2009 is the Third International Conference on New Technologies,
Mobility and Security that will be held from 20 to 23 December 2009 in
Cairo, Egypt. NTMS‘2009 conference is technically sponsored by IEEE
COMSOC, IFIP TC6 WG and IEEE Egypt.

NTMS‘2009 aims at fostering advances in the areas of New
Technologies, Wireless Networks, Mobile Computing, Ad hoc and Ambient
Networks, QoS, Network Security and E-commerce, to mention a few, and
provides a dynamic forum for researchers, students and professionals
to present their state-of-the-art research and development in these
interesting areas. The

event will be combined with tutorial sessions and workshops.
Tutorials will precede the main program, aiming at the dissemination
of mature knowledge and technology advances in the field. Two or more
Workshops will immediately follow the main conference, offering the
opportunity for a more focused exchange of ideas and presentation of
on-going research relevant to following tracks (More information and
the full call-for-

papers can be found on the conference web):

Track 1 : Mobility

——————

Mobile 3G, 4G, LTE (Long Term Evolution), convergence (IMS, etc.)

WiMAX, WLAN, DVB, WiFi

PAN, BAN, WSN, UWB

Wireless MAC protocols

Media sensor and ad hoc networks

Self-organizing of wireless networks

Mesh networks and autonomic systems

Optical networks and switching (new generation SDH, OTN)

Satellite Systems

Vehicular Communication Technologies and Systems

Mobility management and Handover

Scheduling Techniques for Wireless Systems

Routing, QoS and scheduling

Resource allocation management

Analysis, simulation, measurement and performance evaluation

Cross-layer network design and optimization

Cognitive radio and smart antenna

Testbed experiments, Mobile/Wireless Applications and Services

Wireless and mobile multimedia systems

Integration of heterogeneous mobile, wireless and wireline networks

Mobility, location and handoff management

Wireless services and middleware platforms

Track 2: Security

—————–

Authentication protocols and services authorization

Data and system integrity and confidentiality

Availability of secure services

Key Distribution and management, PKI and security management

Trust models and Trust establishment

Identity management, authentication and access control

Deployment and management of computer/network security policies

Monitoring Design for security, distributed Intrusion Detection
Systems & Countermeasures

Single and multi-source intrusion detection and response

Traffic filtering and Firewalling

IPv6 security, IPSec, Virtual Private Networks (VPNs)

Privacy, contract agreements, and payment systems

Prevention, Detection and Reaction

Design, and Revocation of malicious parties

Light-weight cryptography

Quantum Cryptography and QKD

Applications of Cryptography and Cryptanalysis in communications
security

Mobile code security & Security management

Secure PHY, MAC, Routing and upper layer protocols

Secure Cross layer design

Secure naming and addressing (Privacy and anonymity)

Network security metrics and performance evaluation

Security modelling and protocol design

Smart cards and secure hardware

Biometric security: technologies, risks and vulnerabilities

Information hiding and watermarking

Vulnerability, exploitation tools, and virus/worm analysis

Distributed Denial-of-Service (DDoS) attacks and countermeasures

Cryptographic Hardware and Embedded Systems

Web, e-mail , m-commerce, e-business and e-commerce security

Testbeds, performance evaluation and formal specification methods

Virtualization for security and reliability

Track 3: New Technologies & services

——————————