OK – so this is a fun one.
A few months back I received a phone call from a bill collector. They told me they were calling form Portfolio Recovery about a Discover card that I owed almost $4,000 for. I did indeed have a Discover card 20 years ago that I did indeed not pay off. As we know this makes me a very bad person. Oh and the balance at the time was nowhere near $4,000.
Having had my share of bad debts I know a thing or two about this.
The statute of limitations for the debt was way past. They could neither sue or affect my credit rating – all they could do was beg.
Twice a week now for several months I take their calls. And yes folks I know I can send a cease and desist letter but what fun is that?
When I answer the phone I often pretend that I am very interested in clearing up my credit and any obligation. They get very excited until I start to pick apart their argument.
I tell them I called Discover and that they never heard of Portfolio Recover, so I have no relationship with them. They told me they sent me a letter saying they owned the debt – I said that wasn’t proof at all – and that I could send them a letter saying they owed ME money.
When they say that the conversation may be monitored or recorded I tell them “on this end also”. One guy got very angry said he didn’t want to be recorded. I said but you said you were recording this – and he said NO we MIGHT be recording it. And I said I didn’t care that according to the state I live in I can record a call without his permission – he hung up!
When they say this is an attempt to collect a debt I usually respond that this is an attempt to avoid one.
I talk about the age of the debt being past the statute of limitations. They usually counter with my moral obligations. What moral obligations? You purchased a debt that you knew hadn’t been paid in 20 years and that suddenly makes me a bad person because you are in the business of buying bad debt?
Every time they call I like to make them start from the beginning. Ask them what it was for – how much – when it was due. It always amazes me how many of them don’t read the file before they call. Last week one guy did cause he called already angry. I couldn’t say a word before he started to bark that I always am being a pain and should stop playing games.
Sometimes we talk about the letter I never got because their address is 20 years old. When they ask for a new one I tell them that it isn’t my job to help them collect a debt and they should do better research. C’mon assholes if you googled my phone number (which you called) you would get the right address.
Today however was a special day. The lady was very nice. And I kept her on the phone a record 14 minutes! I stayed calm. Explained all of my arguments to her (including the wrong amount).
I told her that I understood the nature of their business. They buy old accounts that there is no legal recourse for having paid next to no money for them and then call people to try and get them to pay. And that some actually do.
My question to her was this: You call me 3 times a week – and every time I tell you that I never plan on paying – and you know that you can’t sue me or mess with my credit and that all you can do is keep calling. So could we agree that that the money would simply go to end the phone calls? She agreed. I said so what you do for a living is simply harassment and extortion. I mean it is legal but that is all my money would buy is freedom from these calls. She agreed. So I asked her – why don’t you make it simple with me – when you call just say “you still not going to pay” and I can say “yup” and then we hang up. Why do the dance – since nothing you are going to say is every going to make me pay.
I told her I was aware of the possibility of filing a cease and desist letter but that I was much more into the idea of their company actually giving up. Of them realizing that they could call forever and that in this game of chicken they would need to flinch.
14 minutes! Its a record folks. And you can thank me because that is 14 minutes that they weren’t harassing somebody else.
I won’t be sending them this post the way I normally do – the web is full of posts complaining about them – I just wanted to share this story.
