Canon you are idiots! Shocking, I know, but true!
So as part of my campaign to have a cleaner mailbox I regularly remove myself from unwanted mailing lists. It has gone surprisingly better than expected. Just the other day I got an email from Canon. Now upon reflection I get these quite often as I probably voluntarily subscribed to a list. I went back into my email archives and found hundreds of emails from Canon starting with a registration to a Canon forum when I was requesting some technical support. This is fair enough and quite common – you post to us – we post to you. I no longer have the camera or use any Canon products so I figured now is the time to Opt-Out The bottom of the email was marked: If you received this e-mail in error or wish to stop receiving e-mail communications from the Consumer Imaging Group of Canon U.S.A., Inc., please unsubscribe. I clicked on the unsubscribe link and was taken to a webpage that looked like roughly this:
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OK let’s look at this carefully.
1) This is not an unscubscribe page – it in reality is a subscription modification page.
2) It is nice that is lets me change my email or even see samples BUT
3) If I want to opt-out I have to click every single checkbox
OK so you think I’m splitting hairs here but if they cared they should let me out quickly!
So I did it – I unchecked every checkbox and hit submit button and was told this:
Your request will be processed as soon as possible.
Visit our product lineups at the link below:
http://www.usa.canon.com/consumer/controller?act=ConsumerHomePageAct
and with it my favorite line:
Duplication in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
Just to put that bullshit aside for a moment this seemed like a fairly similar situation:
1) They sent me a link
2) I unchecked the boxes
3) They removed me from the list
But today I got another email from them!
Now – I know what you are thinking – they did say that they would get to it as soon as possible.
But here is the kicker – when I went to unsubscribe again – all the boxes where unchecked already!
They KNOW! The subscription database KNOWS that I have opted out and yet they sent me another email anyways!
So Canon – what they hell is wrong with you?
Is your system run by two separate databases that only get merged when you feel like it?
Do you continue to purposely sent out emails to people who opt-out after you KNOW they have opted out under the illusion that this takes time?
How long will I continue to get emails fro you even after I have opted out?
With that I say – Cannon – you are idiots!
Microcenter how could you? Idiots!
So I was in my email and I found an ad from Microcenter. Now I like Microcenter and I subscribed to their advertisements.
However I realized that they have several of my emails so I would go and delete one of them.
So I clicked on the Unsubscribe/Modify link in the email.
It takes me to a site that has my email address and zip code filled in and asks me to type in my email again for verification.
Why? I mean – you people already filled in the form. Clearly I got here from my own email. So great you are jerks just making it hard for me to unsubscribe.
So I cut and paste the email and hit next.
Then I get a POP UP ALERT saying: To update your subscriptions you must provide your email address.
Hey jerks – I already did!
But I do it – I type it in again – two more times.
Now I am at a list of 10 newsletters with a checkbox next to one marked Subscribe.
So I check Unsubscibe and I get another POP UP ALERT that says:
“Can’t select both options – select either one”
Are you kidding me? So I have to uncheck Subscribe and THEN check Unsunscribe?
It has to be on purpose because how can they be smart enough to write a script but now know what a RADIO BUTTON is?
SO I carefully uncheck Subscribe and then check all do the Unsubscribe buttons when I get to this:
Please note: If you are unsubscribing from postal offers, enter the name and address information as it appears on the most recent advertisement you received.
That’s right- to opt out of their mailings you have to type in exactly what they send you.
Microcenter – you are grade A marketing idiots!
What should I have expected – their terms of service includes:
MICRO ELECTRONICS, INC. MAKES NO WARRANTY THAT:
- THIS SITE WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS;
- THIS SITE AND YOUR EXPERIENCE COMMUNICATING WITH THIS SITE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, TIMELY, SECURE, OR FREE OF VIRUSES, ERRORS OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS; OR
- ANY ERRORS ON THIS SITE WILL BE CORRECTED.
ING Direct – You are idiots!
So I just got a solicitation form ING Direct. Offering me a mortage rate that is “Too good to be true”. That is a quote from the email folks not a commentary.
ING is a real company. The email was from them: saver@ingdirect.com
So I click on the opt-put link and scroll down to the unsubscribe button and when I click it the next page says:
You’ve just told us you don’t want to receive email offers or information about the topics we’ve listed here:
- Orange Home Loans
In 5 business days, your choice will go in effect.
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What the hell! 5 business days! So their system takes 5 days to mark an item in a database as DO NOT EMAIL?
And better yet – their computers not only take 5 days but appear not to work on the weekends! Wow these are some very special computers.
Then I went back and realized that I hadn’t read the previous page carefully. So I went back and read:
If you want to remove yourself from all electronic promotional communications, click on all the boxes below before clicking “Unsubscribe.”
So the opt-out link is really some sort of a hoop jumping thing – ie it is a LIE. What they really linked me to was a subscription modification page.
So yes ING you are idiots for sending me a crappy email then linking me to a deceptive website and then telling me I have to wait 5 more days.
Legal? I’m sure. Moral? Well hey folks it is a bank!